What Is Mindfulness?
At what should have been the peak of my career, I experienced a life-changing shift that I had no control over. While I had been an avid mindfulness practitioner in the past, I had let my practice lag and suddenly found myself in desperate need of it. This is my personal story of how returning to mindfulness pushed me to let go of my anger, manage my feelings, and discover career resilience.
Sudden Changes
When I first landed my big job at a top-tier brokerage firm, I was excited to show them who I was and what I could do. I had graduated at the top of my class at Boston College, leveraged a six-year stint running a fast-growth start-up to gain admission to Harvard Business School, then worked at premier management consulting firms.
I was nervous at first, but I knew I had the skills and tools to perform the job well and even make their business model more successful. I thrived at this company for six years, moving up the ranks among some very smart and ambitious people.
Shortly after I received a promotion, the president resigned to take care of his wife who had fallen ill. His replacement decided to bring in most of her own people to my department, which meant letting go of many positions, including my own.
I couldn’t believe how unfair and ruthless this felt. All the long days, successful projects, and meetings suddenly meant nothing to this company. I attempted to convince the new president that my presence at the company was essential, but to no avail. I felt very upset and quite angry.
There was nothing I could do to change this and I felt like I was failing my family. I was afraid of the future and what it would look like if I couldn’t provide for them, myself, and the lifestyle we were accustomed to.
Inconsistent Mindfulness Practices
Both my wife and I had on and off mindfulness practices, but nothing consistent during those years of my career and raising our children. I had gotten too busy and wrapped up in my work to devote enough time to a consistent meditation routine.
I once had this kind of regular routine in my thirties, when I was around a lot of other like-minded mindfulness practitioners. However, over the years it became less important, and I forgot how valuable it was to my well-being and perspective.
I was thinking of scrambling to quickly find a new job, even though I had a generous severance package to keep us afloat for a while, when my wife suggested I go on a month-long silent meditation retreat.
In all honesty, this was the last thing I wanted to do at the time. If there is a problem in front of me, I like to solve it. I like to know what is just around the bend. I like to have plans and stick to them. To lose my job and go sit quietly for weeks without taking needed action sounded particularly gruesome. However, I also knew deep down that this was the right time.
Facing My Fears
At the beginning of the retreat, sitting with the discomfort and the anger felt pretty overwhelming. There was nowhere to run, I had nothing to distract myself, and no problems to solve. It was just me and my thoughts about all that had happened in the previous weeks.
I kept imagining all the words I wanted to say to my previous boss who had let me go: telling him off exactly how I wanted, in a way that mirrored my shock and anger at all the pain he was causing me. After having many of these imaginary conversations, I started to understand that I was suffering and could see how much of that suffering was caused by my own mind.
I was also imagining worst-case-scenarios should I never find work again. I saw bills piling up, losing our family home, and all of us ending up on the street. These images would flash before my eyes, all while I sat peacefully on the cushion, trying to meditate.
Learning to Let Go
By attaining such present awareness into how my body, mind, and heart were feeling from moment to moment during this silent retreat, I could suddenly feel how this obsession with anger and regret was poison to my system. And slowly began to let go.
It was not easy, but I noticed pretty immediately the benefits of letting go… really letting go. Because my mind was being trained to remain still and focused, I felt I could really practice letting go of what had happened, embrace the present, and look to the future with hope and positivity. This is one of the major benefits of consistent mindfulness and meditation practice.
Practicing Mindfulness to Weather Life’s Storms
Mindfulness gives you the tools to measure and manage life as it happens. Resilience can, of course, really come in handy in the business world, as it moves quite quickly. Not only will this help you to stay calm under pressure, but it will help you to lead others effectively.
Through wisdom and concentration, you will be able to choose how to feel when your mind is making things harder than they need to be. Through mindfulness, you will be able to pay attention to the present moment, take stock of your feelings, and learn how to deal with them.
I have noticed this kind of awareness in my own life as a way of staying calm under stress, even amongst the harshest storms. With the clarity of mind cultivated from a concentrated meditation practice, one might even be able to move quicker and more efficiently.
In the end, practicing mindfulness may be one of the most useful tools to deal with all of the unknowns lifethrows at you. Contact me to learn more about how to get started.
